Emotionally Intelligent Husbands Vocabulary [Effortless English DVD1 > LV3 > 03]

Hello members! Welcome to the vocabulary audio for the Emotionally Intelligent Husbands Lesson. Let’s get started.

In the first paragraph we have the word “data”. Some people pronounce it /ˈdeɪ.tə/, some people say /ˈda.ta/. Either is correct. So /ˈdeɪ.tə/,  or /ˈda.ta/ , and they both mean information or facts.

And then we have the word “newlywed”. “My data on newlywed couples”. “Newlywed” means recently married. So you… People who are married…, I don’t know, maybe less then, one year. We describe them as newlywed. You can use it as an adjective. For example, in this article, “newlywed couples”. Right, newlywed – recently married couples. You can also use it as a noun. You can say, “Oh, they are newlyweds.” Alright, that couple, they are newlyweds, it means they are recently married. So noun or adjective, either one.

Okay. So, as my data on newlywed couples indicate (indicate means show) that more husbands are being transformed. Transformed, changed, but changed in a big way, totally changed, changed a lot. You have this word before.

Okay, then in the next sentence, we see the phrase “emotionally intelligent husbands”.

Okay, you know the word “intelligent”, it means smart. “Emotionally intelligent”, ,”emotionally intelligent” means good at dealing with your emotions. It means you can recognize emotions, and you can express them. You can talk about them. You can communicate about emotions in a clear way, in an intelligent way. So some people are very smart, right? They are intelligent, but they are not emotionally intelligent. Maybe they get angry very easily. Maybe they act like babies, like little children, when they get upset. They might be smart, but they are not emotionally intelligent. This article was about husbands, who are emotionally intelligent, who are good with emotions.

Ok, we see the word “honors” in that paragraph used as verb. Because this type of husband honors and respects his wife, he will be open to learning more about emotions. Ok, “to honor” (used as verb) means to respect. It’s almost exactly the same as to respect. It might be, maybe a little bit higher, a little bit stronger than respect, but it’s the same basic idea. You honor your wife means you respect her very much. You want to be good to her. You want to hear her opinions. You want to help her. You think she’s intelligent, etc, etc. You are honoring your wife.

Ok, and then later on in that paragraph, we see the word “emote”, as a verb. It’s talking about husbands. It says “He may not emote in the same way that his wife does, but he will learn how to better connect with her emotionally.”

“To emote” means to show your feelings, to show your emotions, to express emotions, to communicate emotions. We call that “emoting”, “to emote”. It might also be used to… to mean to understand another person’s emotions, but usually means to show your own emotions, to emote.

All right! We got the word “evolution” later on in this, in the next paragraph actually, the beginning in the next paragraph. He says, he thinks emotionally intelligent husbands are the next step in social evolution.

“Evolution” means change over time. So transformation, we had that.. in the earlier paragraph. Transformation is usually sudden change, a sudden, very big, large change. “Evolution” usually is the small changes over a long period of time. So that’s how those two words are different.

Ok, he says, he doesn’t think, he doesn’t mean that the old style of husband was superior, or that the new style is superior. “Superior” meaning better, in this case; better than. And he is not superior in personality, is not superior in upbringing, and not necessarily superior in moral fiber.

“Upbringing” means how you were raised by your parents. It means what your parents taught you was good, and what was bad. That’s “upbringing”. Say, “oh, I had a good upbringing”, it means “oh, my parents were quite good. They taught me how to behave well. They taught me to be polite”, for example. That means I had a good upbringing. Or you can say, “wow, that guy, he had a bad upbringing.” It means maybe his parents were very bad. Maybe they beat him. Maybe they were a really bad example. So that’s why he is not such a good person, because he had a bad upbringing, bad family life when he was young.

And we have the phrase “moral fiber”. “Moral fiber” means your goodness. It means your sense; your feeling of what is good, what is right, and also what is wrong. If you have strong moral fiber, it means you always try to do what is right, what is good, what is kind. If you have weak moral fiber, it means it’s easy for you to do something bad, to do something wrong. So, “moral fiber”, it’s your… your… It’s kind of like your moral muscle, alright, how much you are good at doing good things or doing bad things.

All right, we see the verb “to convey” in that paragraph. “To convey” means to communicate or to show. Husband needs to convey his respect to his wife. So, he’s saying, “It’s not enough just to respect her, you have to show respect. You have to communicate respect. You have to convey respect.”

And he says, “Really it’s that elementary.” “Elementary” of course can mean elementary school – meaning school for young children, but elementary also means very simple. If you guys know Sherlock Holmes, his assistant Watson, he would always say to him, “It’s elementary.” It means it’s simple. It’s easy.

All right. In the next paragraph we see the word “priority”. That.. A wife must be her husband’s…. the husband’s top priority. “Priority” means what you think is important. You know, number one, first importance; number two, second importance; number three, third importance. Ok, so those are your priorities. It means if your wife is the important thing, then you say, “She is my most important priority. She’s number one.”

Ok, and we have the word “revised” in that same sentence. We had that word before. “Revised” means changed, and it has the idea of editing, editing something. It means you already have something, and then you change it a little bit; you correct it. That’s what “revised” means. We use a lot with writing. Please revise this; please change it and correct the mistakes.

All right, you see a kind of strange phrase. It says, “A man, a husband makes a map of his wife’s world.”

“ A map of his wife’s world”, it’s little bit of a strange phrase. It means that he learns about the details of his wife’s life. He learns what did she like; what did she hate; what was her family like when she grew up; what are her dreams, etc. all the details of her life. He makes a map of his wife’s world. It’s what that means.

And he keeps in touch with his admiration and fondness for her.

“To keep in touch with something or someone means you keep contact. It means you remember. In this case, it means remember. He remembers his admiration and fondness for her. “Admiration” meaning liking, to like something. If you say, “I have admiration for him.” It means you like him. Fondness is basically the same actually. Those two words – admiration and fondness – almost the same. They mean liking. They’re nouns, however. They are nouns. It’s the feeling of liking someone or something.

Okay! And finally, the last paragraph of the first page, we see the word “outstanding”. You probably know this already, but outstanding means great, fantastic, wonderful. So an emotionally intelligent husband is an outstanding father. According to doctor Gottman, he’s a great father, a wonderful father.

Ok, on the next page, second page, we have the first paragraph. So the new type of husband leads a meaningful life. In this case, of course, “lead” can mean to be a leader. But in this case, it has different meaning. If you lead a wonderful life, it means you do a wonderful life, or you live a wonderful life. So it doesn’t mean you’re a leader, it just means you are doing it. You are doing a wonderful life. You are living a wonderful life. You are leading a wonderful life. Same meaning. All of these.

All right, then he says, this kind of husband, his wife will come to him not only when she is troubled, but when she is delighted.

To be troubled, as an emotion, it means upset. It means you have a problem. Alright! Say, “I’m very troubled right now”, it means, “Oh, I have a lot of problems right now; I’m very worried right now. I’m very upset right now. I am troubled.”

And then the opposite is actually the word delighted. Delighted means very, very happy, supper happy. I’m delighted. That’s I got a raise at my job. I’m very happy. I’m getting more money at my job. I’m delighted.

Ok, then the last sentence of that first paragraph on page two, we have the word “mourn”, the verb: to mourn.

It says when this kind of man dies, he is mourned by his family. “To mourn” means to feel sad for someone who is dead, or someone or something that is gone. So someone dies and we cry, “Oh, no….” We are very upset; we miss them. We are mourning them, right? We are remembering how much we love them and how much we miss them, how important they were and how important their memory still is. That’s to mourn. You might wear, some cultures you wear black clothes. Sometimes people cry; sometimes people don’t talk. Whatever. But all those actions we call that mourning or to mourn.

All right, and finally our last paragraph, talks about the other kinds of husbands - husbands who are not emotionally intelligent. It says they’re quite sad. And it says they respond to the loss of male entitlement with righteous indignation. All right, some good words here. “Entitlement” means power, but it’s a special kind of power. “Entitlement” is a power that is given to you. It’s not a power you take. It’s not a power, you know, someone can be very powerful because they make a lot of money, they build a business, or they become a politician, they’re good speaker. That’s power but that’s not entitlement. Entitlement is when the government gives you power, or the society gives you power. You don’t do anything to earn it. It’s given to you. That’s “entitlement”. So males - men in many cultures, perhaps unfortunately in most cultures, I’d say, right now, have entitlement. The society and government gives them special power that women don’t have. That’s entitlement. Now in many societies and cultures and countries, men are losing these entitlements. They’re losing this power that’s given to them. And some men don’t like that.

And they respond with righteous indignation. I love this phrase. It’s a nice phrase, we,..  you can use it in many situations. “Righteous” means you think you are right. You think you are correct. You think, in fact, it means you think you are right, and everyone else is wrong. I’m right; everyone else is wrong.

And “indignation” means anger, strong anger. So “righteous indignation” means you are very angry because you think you are right; you think everybody else is wrong; everybody else is doing something wrong and now you are really angry. So some men have righteous indignation. It’s a noun. Because they think society is wrong. They take… Taking away men’s power, and that’s wrong. Or the culture is wrong or women are wrong. They’re taking men’s power. They become, if you want to use it as an adjective, you can say, “They become righteously indignant”. But if you use it as a noun, as it is in the article, righteous indignation.

Ok, and a… When a man… When this happens to a man, Dr. Gottman says, “He may become more authoritarian or withdraw into a lonely shell.” Okay, “to become more authoritarian” means to become meaner, to try to be a boss, more controlling, try to be a big strong boss and control. And the opposite, what he is saying is, withdraw into a lonely shell means stop communicating, stop talking to other people, become very lonely and separated and isolated from other people.

Okay, and finally our last phrase is “is his due.” Okay! He, he’s looking, this kind of man is looking for honor and respect that he thinks is his due. “Is his due” means is his right, is what he is supposed to have. These men think, “It is my due”, it means it is my right, it is my entitlement, it means I should get this power. I’m supposed to get it. That means it is his due; it is something he should have; he supposed to have.

All right, that’s all for this vocabulary lesson. Listen a few times and then move on to the mini-story. Bye bye.

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