Bad Choices Vocabulary [Effortless English DVD1 > LV2 > 01]

Welcome to the vocabulary lesson for Bad Choices. Let's get started.

This is actually not a doc.. “dear Abby” letter. It's a “dear doctor Tracy” letter. Another advice column but.. same idea. So here we go. Okay, first of all in the beginning we see the word “divorced”.

Of course “divorced” means you're not married anymore,  you were married and then you broke the married, now you are divorced.

Okay and then.. ahhh.. we see the word “approximately”.

“Approximately” means… uhmm.. about, almost, kind of. So, she says, “We've been… I've been divorced for approximately three years”. Means about three years, not exactly three years, but, you know, close to three years.

 Okay, and she said when she met her new boyfriend, she said they hit it off very quickly.

 When you talk about people hitting it off, or to “hit it off”, it means you like each other ahhh.. very quickly. So, go to a party, you meet someone new, and you say “Wow! we hit it off”,  it means you started talking and immediately, or very quickly you liked each other.  So that's to hit it off. Sometimes it use with dating, sometimes just friendship, it’s fine also.

 Okay. Ahmm.. And little bit letter in the paragraph she says she found out that her boyfriend was fooling around with someone else.

Now in this case is a situation fooling around…ahhh.. in a dating situation means ahmm.. not basically having sex with somebody. And it has an idea very casual, it's not a see deep serious relationships.  So you can say, someone asks you, “are you dating”, “are you dating that person?” And you say “no, no. We're just fooling around”. It just means you're just having fun, maybe having sex. but that's all.  It's not a super serious relationship.

So, her boyfriend was fooling around with someone else. She found out that he was having sex with somebody else. And of course she's not happy. Alright,  and she… but then she says, “I figured that since we didn't have a committed relationship”.

That it was no problem. “I figured” means I thought, I sometimes was. “I figure this is a good thing to do”, it means I think it's a good thing to do. To “figure” means to think . It has other meanings, maybe to…but in this case, in usually, it’s kinda casual way to say think, or believe.

Okay and then she says she figured she had no place to say anything, because they did not have a committed relationship.

A “committed relationship” is a serious relationship. When you say “I am only with you, you're only with me”, that's a committed relationship.  If you're married, that's a committed relationship. Give a very serious boyfriend or girlfriend,  that's a committed relationship. It's not just fooling around, it's a committed relationship. Serious.

So she said, “we didn't have a committed relationship. So I had no place to say anything”.

To “have no place to do something” it means you have no good reason. So, “I had no place to say anything” means I have no good reason to complain, to say something to him, to complain “oh, why are you with that other woman?” Because they did not have a committed relationship. She had no place to say something to him, to… to complain. She had no good reason to complain.

Alright. And I… she's mentioned in that first paragraph also that ahmm.. she found out that this guy, her boyfriend went with another woman to the… his family reunion.

A reunion is kinda be meeting. But it's a meeting of people from your past. So a “family renion” means all of your family members come together, and they meet one-time. Not just your a close family. Not just your mom and your dad, a brother or sister. It also means ants, uncles, cousins, your really big family. Probably you don't see them a lot, depends… And I guess some people live near there their big families. But in america most people don't live near there extended families, their big families. So they have a family reunion sometimes. Where all the family, the cousins, the ants the grandparents, the uncles. Everybody gets together at one time. That's called a family reunion. SO it’s a family reunion.  “A family reunion”. Alright!

So, they must move on to the next paragraph for the vocabulary, Ahmm… She says, “I guess my issue is the fact that now I'm still in his… this relationship”.

She still with him.  Ahmm… She says, “My issue”, “I guess my issue…”

“My issue” means my problem. “Issue”… sometimes means topic. but also sometimes it means a problem. Especially in relationships or psychologically mentally. If we say, “I have issues”, or “I have an issue”, then usually that means I have a problem. Alright. “I have a problems”.

So she says, “I guess my issue… (Ahmm)… is the fact that I have a child with him now, and this… all this stuff is still happening tonight”. She says, “I guess my problem” , this is her problem, her issue or problem.

Okay. So, she still dating him but she says, “I brought a child into this nonsense”.

So she's dating that… her boyfriend. Her boyfriend has another woman and now they have a child together. It was complicated.  Ahmm… Anyway. She says, “I brought a child into this nonsense”.

So “brought a child into” means just cheat gave birth.  She… she , she had a baby and now the baby is in this situation also. The child is in this situation. And “nonsense” means.. (Ahmm..) something. that's …(Ahmm..) foolish, stupid, (Ahmm…) crazy. So in this case, “this nonsense” means “this crazy stupid situation”. So now there's a child involved in this crazy situation, in this nonsense. “Nonsense”

 Okay and..then (Ahmm…) She says that (Ahmm…) the boyfriend always makes an excuse…

His eyes making excuses. An excuse is a reason for doing something that's wrong. Alright. So, If you're late to class and I say, “why are you late?” And you say, “Oh oh oh… the.. the bus was late!” That's your excuse.

Alright. It's the reason you did something wrong. Being late to class is wrong. It's not a big wrong. Well, it's a small thing. But still it's a mistake or something wrong, and I your reason for doing something wrong is called an “excuse”.

She says, “Oh the bus is late”, that's your excuse, that's your reason for doing something that's bad or wrong, or criticized.

 Alright! And…ammhh a little *of *the *letter *on*… second paragraph she says, “I have dealt with him taking women to hotels, and my gut tells me it was her.”

Okay, “I have dealt with”.  To deal with something, to deal with the situation, to deal with the person, it means you keep trying to solve problems. In that situation you don't quit but you also don't solve the problem. So it's… it really has its idea. Continuing to survive, or continuing to try. Usually it… some difficult situation.

So she says, and in the past tense is “dealt”, present tense’s “deal”. So, to deal with somebody means they're difficult but chill deal with them. You… you keep trying to talk to them or communicate with them. If you deal with a difficult situation it means you survive this situation. You keep trying in this situation. You probably don't solve the problem completely but you also don't quit. You deal with it. Past tense is “dealt with”.

 So she says, “I have dealt with this difficult problem”. Ahm…(it’s actually present perfect anyway)... “I have dealt with him taking women to hotels”.

So her boyfriend takes other girls to hotels and she is… she's dealing with this. So,  she has dealt with this. So, It means it’s keep… keeps happening and she keeps trying to survive the situation, but she can't.

Another… another ahhh… word or phrase with the same meaning is to handle, to handle a situation, to handle a person. So she could say, “I have handled him taking women to hotels”. Same basic meaning is “dealt” or “deal”.

Alright. And then she says in the same sentence, “my gut tells me it was her”.

“Her” means his ex-wife (This one…this one person). “My gut tells me” means you have a feeling, a deep feeling about some information or something. So, “my gut tells me it was her” it means she has a feeling, a deep feeling that it was this other woman. But she really doesn't know. A “gut feeling” or “to have your gut tell you” it means it's not your brain, it's not your logical normal brain, not your normal mind, it’s not that you have good information or you see something happen, or you thinking clearly. It’s a, it's more of an emotional, deep instinct, a deep intuition, a deep feeling. That something is happening or something is wrong.

So, “my gut tells me it was her”. She just feels, she feels it was this other woman. Alright, she's not sure. She didn't see the other woman, but she feels it, feels it deep down.

And “gut” means stomach. Alright, “gut” means stomach. So it means my stomach tells me, my gut tells me. So it’s a deep feeling about something inn..intuition.

Alright.  And in next paragraph, starting in next paragrahp she says, “I have tried to get over all the cheating”.

To get over something..  Of course it has a direct meaning but in this kind of, it also has a… a..  another meaning in…  that is to get over means to ahhmm forget, or to forgive and forget. So, I've tried to get over all the cheating…”  “cheating” of course means him seeing other women. So, she's tried to forget it. She's tried to get over it. She's tried to forget it and not worry about it anymore.

“To get over”, “to get over someone”, for example the event ex-girlfriend you break up and after one month you're still very sad, “Oh, I’m so sad!” Alright, you can't get over her. But after six months, you feel OK, you forget her, it's.. it's no problem ,if you see her, you.. you're not upset. Then you can say, ” Ah, I got over her (past tense). Alright, I got over.

Okay and a bit letter in next paragraph you see the word,” I stand up for myself”, against his family, I stand up for myself. To stand up for yourself means you fight for yourself. Now it could mean really fighting with your… you know hitting and kicking, but usually just means arguing. So if someone does something bad to you, you won't let them do it, you will say “hey, stop doing that!”,  “Don't do that”, that's called “standing up for yourself”. I stand up for myself means I fight for myself. I argue for myself. I am strong for myself, I don't let other people attacked me, or treat me badly. I stand up for myself. And I'm not sure she really does, but anyway I stand up for myself.

Okay! And then a little bit letter she says, “I guess the bottom line is knowing how much he still sees his ex-wife and that there's all this bad stuff happening with the child.”

The “bottom line” means the final problem. Or that conclusion maybe say “the bottom line is I'm really angry”, that means.. that's your your final point. That's your main point, that's your conclusion. So, maybe I talk a lot about many many things  finally, my conclusion, my main point is that I'm angry. “The bottom line is that I'm angry”. The bottom line is your main point.

 Alright, let's keep going. I'm any says, “I cannot stand her..”

This other woman. He cannot… she cannot stand her. If you can't stand someone, or can't stand something it means you hate it. You say, “I can't stand English”, it means you hate English. (Of course that's not true!) But anyway, he says, “I can't stand Tom Cruise”, it means you hate Tom Cruise. So, you can't stand something means you hate it.

And then a little bit letter she uses the phrase that “he wants to have his cake and eat it, too”

“To have his cake and eat it, too” or “to have your cake and eat it, too”, this means you want two things but really you must choose one.  Alright, so if you have your cake, you keep your cake, then you can eat it, because if you eat it, then it's gone. Aright, it disappears, it goes to your stomach. Now you don't have it anymore. So if you have a cake you can keep it, you can keep it, it looks perfect, everything's perfect, or you can eat it. Alright, you can eat it and then it's gone. But you cannot eat it and keep it at the same time. It's impossible. So, this phrase, “to have your cake and eat it, too” , it means.. it describes the situation where (ahmm..) you want two things, but you really can only have one of them.

Another example are you go to a store, you have an i.. you want to buy an iPod, and you have a hundred and fifty dollars.  And you say I want to keep my money and I also want the iPod. Well, it's impossible, right? You can only have one. You want to have your cake and eat it, too.

Okay. Later we see the word “paranoid”. “Paranoid” means you're scared have everybody and everything and you think everybody wants to hurt you . You think everybody wants to cheat you or hurt you. That paranoid.

And we see the word “animosity”. a little bit later “animosity” is a feeling that you don't like somebody. It's a feeling that somebody is your enemy. He says, “I have animosity towards him” it means you think he is your enemy. You feel he is your enemy.  “Animosity” means a feeling that someone is your enemy.

And finally the last paragraph we see the word “dire”. “Dire”, “dire” means very difficult or high dangerous, or terrible. Like a dire situation is a very risky difficult situation. Maybe.. maybe dangerous, or maybe just risky. Means it's… its easy to fail . It's easy that something will bad, will happen. “Dire”. A dire situation.

A “dire need” means you have a terrible need, you really really need something or else you will suffer, or something bad will happen.

And finally the last two phrase: “to hook up with somebody”

She says, “I'm… she always hooks up with bad man”. To “hook up with” means to connect. Now it can just mean to meet, “I'm going to hook up with my friend at the movie”,  that means you're gonna meet your friend at the movie, but it can have a dating meaning. You hook up with somebody it means you connect with them, and you start dating with.. dating them.  Or you I just have sex with them. He says “I hooked up with his girl at the bar”, it means you met the girl at the bar and you probably went home and had sex. So, to “hook up with” means to meet somebody. But it can also had this idea. Just.. I'm meeting someone in having sex with them.

Alright to “hook up with”.

Let's move on to the mini story now. 

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